Music Notes

Music notes cover my body

 So many lyrics to describe 

The things I've went through 

The silent song of pain 

 Humming along with the Beautiful melody 

Swallowing each lyric

 Like my oxygen

 Can't live without my music

 Without having something

 Flowing through my veins

 Beautiful words that keep Me living

 Music, lyrics, notes of My pain laid in layers 

Never to be explained in words

 Like shaking in a corner

 I love this, love the music 

My healing glow

 The thing that saves me From the demons within

 Can you hear the meaning 

Behind ever lyric

 Flowing through your ears

 Can you connect to them 

Do they play out on your skin

 Run through your veins

 Like rich blood

 So beautiful 

So true

 So mistical 

 My life in song

 My life on my skin 

 Without music I wouldn't be alive 

My ear buds of freedom 

The moment they r in my ear

 All the horror is gone

 And I'm floating, all I see Is your lips moving 

 Silently, cause

  I cannot hear Anything but 

My savior called music

Waiting In the rain

The pouring rain soaking me

 As I wait for you to arrive

 The building pain inside my chest 

as I know you may not come 

The thunder and lighting

 Striking all around me

 The wind howling

 I know its dangerous

 But I wait for you

 I beg on my knees

 My white dress I wore for you

 My hair soaked, slowly curling

 My makeup running

 Will I still be beautiful 

I forgot to wear a coat 

 Its so cold, 

my skin has froze

 Tears are already falling from my eyes

 Where are you, you promised

 I feel my heart pound

 Thump, thump thump

 Where are you?

 Thump thump thump

 Where are you?

 Thump thump thump

 I need you!!!!

 The cold so uncomfortable

 I slowly cannot breath

 The feeling in my body

 Has slowly gone numb 

 As I fall to the ground

 My knees and legs gave out 

My eyes have gone heavy

 My heart its so weak

 I slowly see darkness

 In the pouring rain

 I waited for you, 

always for you

 No matter what the weather 

Where are you 

As I fall unconscious

 All I can say through

 My dry cracked blue lips Is 'I love you'

The Coldness

cold, the ice building inside my heart
I can barely feel it beating
Its already broken so badly

Emptiness, is what I feel
The big black hole of nothing
Killing me until I can’t breath anymore

Dark red dripping blood falling from my wrists
Falling from my lips
Is this the taste of pain
That’s dripping from the depth of my heart

Is this the feeling of complete
Insanity
Where I cannot feel
Where the coldness it etched into my eyes
And makes people hate the sight of me

Is this where my kindness ends
Where I stop caring anymore
Where everything becomes funny
And I stop loving a soul
Oh how delicious that sounds

He broke it, the man I love
He killed me, the man I love
He ended me, the man I love
He changed me, the man I love
And know I met the darkness
I was always meant to be

Alone, is what I will be
Cold is what I am
Silent is my heart
And love with never be found

A silent empty soul
Living alone
Is what I will always be

Until he comes and finds
Me

The Insanity, called love

I want your love, your body heat
The sweet kisses on my neck
The tingling of your hands gliding on my hip

I want your lips on mine
Your tongue swirling around mine
The feeling of electricity running through my veins

I want your body against mine
The warmth of your embrace
Your whispers that drive me crazy
Your hands that make me crave
Things I never once did

I want your eyes only on me
As mine are always on you
I want to be your angel
As you my treasure

I need you with me, my heart yearns for you
A million different stars out there and I only think of you

I do not know the meaning of living without you
You are the puzzle that’s missing in the mess I call my life

Everything is falling apart without you here, I want to run and crumble, but always stop and think of you
My dreams have been invaded by helpless dreams of you

Things we have done
Things we can do
Our future, Our love
Damn i need you

So come to me again
And I’ll stay in your arms
Never to leave again
Because you are where I belong

I tried

I didn't ask for this

I didn't want this

To be cornered without a way out

Forced into something I never wished for

A candle a year, wishing for change

Blow it out and make a wish

Everything change's

Nothing stays the same

The monsters keep winning

their stuck in my head

I stopped praying

for life to get better

the marks on my skin 

keep getting deeper

I want to feel better

Stop the tears on my cheeks

But nobody holds me

And tells me i'm okay

I tried to deal with my problems

keep them all on the inside

but they built so high

I blew up and cried

I destroyed my room

The one that gives me nightmares

I destroyed the things

I loved the most

I destroyed the love

I wanted so badly

I destroyed me 

Becuase the mirror couldn't take it

I gave up

Because I don't know

Who the demon in the mirror is

Is that girl really me

Or the dying one underneath