Shouldn't of existed

If I could erase the feeling of your skin

The taste of your lips

the way your eyes burn into mine

and the feeling of your chest beating against mine

If evey night I lay alone 

I could erase the memory of you being beside me

Every night until I close my eyes

I would

If my heart did numb in my chest

at the sound of your name

and my soul crush slowly with the feeling of

your lips on my neck

maybe I'd be okay

If I could forget your existence just for a second

Forget that we breath the same air

and walk down on the same earth

maybe my lungs wouldn't feel like they were gonna burst

If just for a minute I could go back and time

and take all the memories  you have given me

and burn them in a flame as big as the sky

I would

Because my love for you was like a diamond

I uncovered it when it looked like a rock

I polished it and made it look beautiful

but you threw it away like it wasn't 

worth enough

But now I cannot breath like I use too

now my heart is numb

my emotions are chaotic

but I will be alright

Because my acting

has grown beautifully

and my sin has became enchanting

I have learned to turn off

my everything

because of a love

that never should've existed

Sinful

 Silence

As your lips speak

Almost pure loving words

that make me happy inside

You think I believe those words

When I know your lips

Are just caked with sin

Because that is your title

It's in your job description

to build me up like a structure

and then watch me crumble

when i cannot be used anymore

Your words use to be my heaven

Making my my heart sore

Now your words are my hell

making blood bleed from my wrist

You were sinful

like a broken record skipping

You used to treat me like brand new

Now i am nothing but a used

rag unusable in your eyes

I thought I was worth the world

But your crushed it in your hands

Had me pinned inside a cage

Unable to move

When I broke free you laughed at my efforts

Told me I'd come back crying

But I didn't because 

Your sinful heart

wasn't good enough

For My Soul

My Body

Or

My Mind

Bipolar Love

Her Smiling Face across the room

He see's her bright like the sun

But he despises it

He speaks out the words he knows she hates

He follows her, knowing he can bruise

the depths of her soul

All her sad thoughts come flowing to her mind

Her heart races, speeding like a race car

She breaks into pieces

Slowly remembering

The times they laid naked together for hours

with smiling faces, looking cute

haunting her like a dream

or a nightmare

She remembered when she was happy

and his face brought a smile to her lips

But Now

A thought of him sends pains to her heart

and fear to her eyes

His voice sends chills down her spine

He gave up on her

Didn't want her anymore

Told her to end her life

She almost did...

The lines on her thighs

As she slowly counts them

As a tear forms in her eyes

Knowing He didn't give a shit

His fingers could text the most amazing shit

But her smiling face always sends him into

a bipolar spiral

And he blurts words so nasty

so un-pure 

He will never be the same guy

She once loved

He will never have her again

Like before

Because he cracked her soul

With his untasteful 

words

And Jealous Heart.

Unloved

His lips formed a trail down my neck

Like a flame burning on my skin

His fingers knew every inch 

every Imperfection and weakness that existed

But his eyes were cold and empty

like every time they laid naked together

His hands were like a past memory

his kisses like a knife killing her with insanity

Their hearts no longer pumped to the same rhythm 

The past relationship they shared was no longer

visible in the air

Her cries of pleaure weren't from love

His thrust inside her weren't him claiming her body 

with love anymore

Their love was dead, like a lost note in a piano piece

Her heart was numb

His mind was with some other girl

Who he desired more than her

But like she learned

she digged her nails into his back and screamed out his name

And like He did

He emptied his semen into her core

without a single thought claiming her once more

Then they separated, His eyes already on his phone

Smiling at whatever he was sent

And she dressed in her clothing, cleaned up the mess inside her

Waved him a goodbye as he smirked 

at her disheveled appearance

Acting like they didn't lay naked together

Walking separate ways to the new life

Alone

Until they laid naked together 

Unloved Once More